UK elections, Mohamed cartoons, Mayweather-Pacquiao, three new GOP presidential candidates, "Deflategate" resurfaces. Sure. It was a big news week. But, all of these stories pale in comparison to the earth-shattering announcement by McDonalds that they would be giving the Hamburglar a makeover.
I, for one, am NOT COOL with this!
I almost didn't come in to work today in order to picket in front of the fast food chain. But some employees demanding a $15 an hour minimum wage were already there. So, I decided to actually go to work where they pay me based on my skills and talents.
One of my talents happens to be finding really dumb Tweets and presenting them to you, our loyal readers.
Here are this week's winners:
1.
A lot of readers email me asking why Sally Kohn isn't featured on our 'Dumb Tweets' list more often. She does Tweet out a ton of dumb stuff. Unfortunately, Cher's incredible ability to Tweet out mind-numbingly asinine political commentary has pushed Kohn off the list on several occasions. But, not this week!
This one is pure gold!
So, Kohn forgot her wallet on the subway. A kindly, MTA officer let her back on to retrieve it. So, naturally, Kohn insults the guy, assuming that the only reason he let her back on the train was because she was white.
This is a great example of where we're at in terms of how the left views race in this country. Now, not only is anything that negatively impacts racial minorities viewed as an obvious sign of institutionalized racism, but when someone does something nice for you, that's a sign of racism too! Someone really needs to make a list of things that aren't racist so we're all clear on the definition. Or, perhaps, we should all just hide in our beds all day with the sheets pulled over our heads in order to avoid engaging in discriminatory behavior.
But, in all seriousness, I'm glad Kohn was able to get her wallet back. That's probably where she keeps her race card and without it she probably wouldn't have a job.
2.
Thank God that Obamacare covers birth control! Otherwise, this sign would have been way too expensive to make.
I wish I knew whether it was a girl or a guy hiding behind this sign. Traditionally, it's the guy who asks the girl to prom. If that's the case, then isn't this an example of the "rape culture" that is supposedly an epidemic in this country, these days?
I would imagine that any true feminist's translation of this invitation would be 'Go to prom with me and pick one of the birth control methods on the sign because you're going to need it later, whether you like it or not.'
Also, if the plan is to have sex on prom night, why even bother with all the birth control? After all, if someone gets knocked up there's always another option. Just take a trip down to Planned Parenthood!
3.
Moby threw a hissy fit.
Me? Ouch. You're hurting my feelings Moby.
So THAT's "The worst part of America," huh? Clearly Moby has never been to Newark.
But Richard Melville Hall is absolutely right. (What? You didn't think that his real name was Moby, did you?) Americans who spew hate at a group of people simply because of their skin color are incredibly ignorant. The same goes for people who make blanket statements and spew hate at others because of their personal beliefs. That's pretty ignorant, too.
Fortunately, enlightened celebrities like Moby would never engage in that type of rhetoric. So, kudos for informing us Republicans as to what awful people we are, Moby. Guess I'll just go kill myself now.
On a side note: Techno sucks.
On Deck: Kim Kardashian.
4.
Kim Kardashian has published a book.
It is a collection of selfies.
Excuse me for a minute.
Okay. I'm back.
Honestly, I never thought I'd use the words "Kim Kardashian" and "book" in the same sentence. Hopefully, I'll never have to again.
5.
Here's the thing about Alec Baldwin; he's a huge jerk.
Who can forget this father-of-the-year moment:
If Alec Baldwin disagrees with you, he insults your appearance. He is the pre-school bully of the Twitterverse. I learned this first-hand when I called him out for something he Tweeted a while back.
Then he blocked me.
Alec Baldwin is the Nickelback of political discourse. He is the "Battlefield Earth" of intelligent Twitter exchanges. He is the Michael Jordan of Hollywood scum bags.
But, he's also a very talented actor. So, I'm not going to boycott his films or TV shows, just because he personally insulted me. That would be petty. Just, like blocking someone on Twitter when they challenge you or call you out on your hypocrisy.
On a side note: "The Shadow" sucked.
DISHONORABLE MENTION:
This, from the party that nominated Joe Biden as Vice President.
Seriously Democrats. Keep your hands off Star Wars. Don't make me come down there.