On Thursday, Sean Dunn, the man charged with assaulting a border patrol agent with a sandwich, was found not guilty, and CBS’s Stephen Colbert was eager to celebrate. The Late Show host mocked the idea that a sandwich posed a grave enough threat to the officer to merit the charges by hurling a Subway sandwich at a boxing dummy using a T-shirt cannon.
Sticking with the CBS brand, Colbert played the part of a CSI (Criminal Sandwich Investigation) agent, “To truly determine whether an officer could be in danger from a high-velocity hoagie, the Late Show's crack forensic squad has recreated the exact hoagie conditions in D.C. that night, using the latest state-of-the-art Sandwich Simulator 5000. Which is definitely not just a T-shirt cannon with a $5 footlong shoved in it. Everybody stand back. I don't want you filling up before dinner. Ready. Aim. Sandwich!”
After the sandwich impacted the dummy, Colbert concluded, “Let's see the replay. And boom goes the salami! Well, judging from our findings here, we can determine that I didn't need to do this, because this afternoon we found out the D.C. sandwich thrower was found not guilty of assault. Well, that's a wrap. And justice is on a roll.”
[See NewsBusters for more]
