(Image: Becky Calderon & Corwin Parks)
Welcome to "Uncommon Sense." This is a safe space to mock “safe spaces.” This is the place to offend the easily offended. It is time to stop blindly accepting the viewpoint of the perpetual victim.
At Uncommon Sense, the mind-numbingly stupid will find no refuge. The sky is blue. Water is wet. Look both ways when crossing the street. Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger.
We don’t prey on people’s legitimate sensitivities, but we hunt for faux outrage -- and whatever the heck “micro-aggressions” are supposed to be.
So buckle up. We’re going to Liberalville, and taking them to a place called reality!
This week’s trophy winner -- or rather, winners -- are all of the celebrities cancelling shows and/or boycotting the state of North Carolina after the passing of the HB2 law.
Calm down. We’re only letting them share one trophy because, frankly, Uncommon Sense doesn’t have the budget to give out multiple “Golden Jackasses” in a given week.
Here are just a few of the celebrities that have openly boycotted the Tar Heel State:
Bruce Springsteen - “The Boss” that no one wants to work for.
Ringo Starr - Successful transformation from a Beatle to a Cockroach.
Bryan Adams - He’s Canadian, so ehh…
Sharon Stone - That “Basic Instinct” and "Casino" money has really lasted, hasn’t it?
Michael Moore - The boil on the buttocks of society.
Jimmy Buffet - Singer of eerily similar songs. Did not boycott. Played his shows as planned, but absolutely tore apart the North Carolina law in an interview.
Stephen Schwartz - The guy who composed the score for "Wicked." Don't worry -- no one else knew, either.
Hulu - Not a human being, but more of a celebrity than most of the people on this list.
PayPal - Because money has feelings, too!
Pearl Jam - I actually love this band, but when I saw them live the last twenty minutes turned into a political rally...for shame, Eddie!
Bad Company - Good tunes, but their name says it all.
As we all know, the word of a celebrity is tantamount to that of Abraham Lincoln in our society. Or, at least they think so in their minds. Today's culture is so entertainment-driven that the masses actually give credence to what celebrities have to say. Perhaps liberal mouthbreather Michael Moore put it best in 2004 when he said, “There's a gullible side to the American people. They can be easily misled.”
These celebrities use their status, and their enormous platform, to partner with the government and media in brainwashing the unwashed masses. The easily-led. Or, as I like to call them, “sheeple.”
From Common Core to LGBT-LMNOP bathrooms to “Global Warming”…err, “Climate Change”…umm “The Pause?”
Celebrities constantly want you to listen to them, or pay attention to them, or take up whatever cause Matt Damon and George Clooney have made them feel guilty about this month. They will tell you, without fail, that they are just normal people like you and me, and then in the same conversation try to use their celebrity to influence what you wear, the food you eat, the people you should be hanging out with, what to think and what faith to believe in.
By the way, celebrities' boycot of N.C. not only achieves their goal of “taking their business elsewhere,” but it also alienates their fans. If you’re paying your hard-earned money for a night out to see someone’s concert, would you rather them turn their concert into a politically motivated rally? Or do you want them to just “play the damn hits already?”
People are beginning to wake up…I think. George Clooney movies have been tanking faster than the Titanic. So either people are sick of his rhetoric, or Clooney is not the draw that “Holly-weird” makes him out to be.
Either way, people need to develop a sense of self again, and stop looking to others for guidance. Be an individual. Individualism creates competition, and competition creates cash.
In essence, be who you are and start telling these nitwits that they are not your deities the best way you can: with your wallets. If they want to be babies and say, “I’m not going to do it, because I didn’t get my way,” then you can tell them that they need a timeout.
Life does not work in the way celebrities make it seem. Life is hard. Keep your nose down, work hard, and if someone is offended by the common sense you use on daily basis, tell them to have a Coke and smile (even if they tell you that's offensive to Pepsi drinkers).
What did you think about this week’s “Golden Jackass” winners? Who would you nominate for next week? Let us know in the comment section!