Having trouble with your partner? Can’t seem to make things work in between the sheets?
It’s not your fault – just blame Donald Trump!
At least, that’s what one therapist is suggesting in a Salon article published Wednesday that’s just too ridiculous not to mock.
Salon starts, of course, by blaming Trump for literally every personal mental problem anyone might ever have, penning:
Beginning with his presidential campaign and through to his third year as president, the United States has experienced an increase in anxiety, suicide, depression, and other mental health problems. The president of the United States is also a role model. His or her behavior influences the public.
But on top of making people curl up in a dark corner or off themselves left, right and sideways, Salon then claims that “Donald Trump's negative impact on mental health extends to the intimate sexual lives of many people as well.”
To back up this theory, Salon consulted Susan Block, who founded the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences (which, apparently, is a real thing because she’s been on Oprah). Now, Block doesn't actually have any formal licensing; she's a self-proclaimed therapist known for hosting sex exhibits and collaborating with porn stars. But that doesn't stop some people from taking her opinions very seriously - like this one:
“For some people Trump's campaign and presidency has created a type of PTSD — what I call ‘Post-Trump Sex Disorder,’” Block explains. “Trump has created feelings of fear, loathing, and nausea. People just don’t want to have sex.”
“This would mainly be seen with women who are just appalled at how creepy Trump is,” she continues. “He takes what is often a positive male attribute of confidence and pushes it way over the line into a rape-like and rape-entitled kind of arrogance.
Ah, yes. Because it’s a natural element of human sexuality to always picture the president of the United States while you’re…you know, gettin’ busy.
But it’s not just people who’re “turned off” by Trump – there are also those who’ve found themselves getting hot and bothered by such a “bad boy” president, Block claims.
“Donald Trump is the daddy of a dysfunctional United States family. And of course evil can be very sexy. Evil is fascinating,” she says, right before comparing Trump to – get this – “cult leaders” including Charles Manson.
“One of the things about the evil daddy is that he shames you,” Block says. “This touches your sexuality very deeply.”
Perhaps the saddest and most gag-inducing part of this whole "psychoanalysis" is that people like Block are dead serious in their assessment of how Trump – or, more precisely, Trump Derangement Syndrome – is actually affecting the populace. Since the president’s inauguration, some therapists say they’ve seen a rise in what’s been officially dubbed “Trump Anxiety Disorder.” Some New York schools brought in therapy dogs to help kids “deal” with Trump’s win, while college students turned to coloring books, Play-Doh and bubbles to cope with the new administration. Some married couples have even reported they're divorcing because they disagree over Trump.
Then again, if you find yourself feeling the cold-shower affect with your lover thanks to the constant mental image of Donald Trump (or any politician, really), it’s pretty likely you needed therapy well before all this.
Just, maybe seek out a real doctor this time.