In a snarky article nearly as ridiculous as its subject matter, Glamour Magazine praised a Twitter user who, suffering from a severe lack of anything better to do, actually sat down and edited out all the scenes from “Saving Private Ryan” that included men.
Being that it’s a World War II combat film, that’s…yeah, pretty much all of it.
By whacking all the scenes involving men from the renowned Tom Hanks film, Twitter user Logan Smith – who apparently also spearheads the Twitter handle @YesYoureRacist, so you see what we’re dealing with here – whittled the movie down to a measly 2 minutes and 20 seconds of silent B-roll and a few shots of women staring out windows. The project (which was supposedly in response to another moronic Twitter user who edited out women from "The Last Jedi") was apparently an attempt to prove the movie’s pointed exclusion of women…or something.
Even though, again, it’s a World War II combat film.
Glamour praised “Internet Hero” Smith’s work as “glorious,” hailing its supposed success at showing the (once more, WWII COMBAT) film’s near-total exclusion of women.
The new cut of Saving Private Ryan has since achieved viral acclaim, and Smith quickly followed up his breakout debut with a solid sophomore effort, a manfree edit of The Shawshank Redemption. This one is even leaner and slicker than the last, capping in at a minute and a half of run time. Beautiful.
Of course, Glamour Magazine – and Smith, in his two-minute pet project that I assume he completed sometime between his latest World of Warcraft campaign and stuffing another round of Pizza Rolls into the microwave – failed to point out that Saving Private Ryan (who was a man) is set during and after the Battle of Normandy (led and achieved by men, of which more than 425,000 died), focusing on a group of men who set off to find another man who’s the last surviving brother of a group of men who went off to fight a war waged almost entirely by men.
It’s not the story of the women who donated their panty hose to help make it happen. And you know what? That’s O.K.
In that vein, the Shawshank Redemption is a movie about a group of men in an all-male prison. Mocking it, or Saving Private Ryan, for its nearly all-male cast is like slamming Finding Nemo for showing too many fish.
It’s worth noting that the Glamour article in question is, quite noticeably, NOT written in German. For which we can thank men.