Columbia Students Say They're Scared Of a Mean Thomas Jefferson Statue

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A vocal contingent of students at Columbia University now say they’re mad over a statue of Thomas Jefferson located on campus, claiming the effigy exposes how “Black students are merely tokens of the university.”

The group that’s so teed off about a stationary chunk of metal standing silent in a random building somewhere apparently goes by the Mobilized African Diaspora – or, ironically, MAD. The group has already compiled a laughably ridiculous list of demands over the past year, including that the school force undergrad students to take two diversity classes and hire more black faculty, just 'cause..

Also, someone (presumably a person linked to the group) also recently covered the statue of America's third president with a KKK hood. Because, you know, going to college is all about learning how to be an adult and not a whining, self-involved toddler who uses juvenile stunts to get his way.

“Columbia University adheres to Jefferson’s brand of hypocrisy because it keeps a physical manifestation of the antithesis to Black women’s lives on the same campus that uses illusions of diversity to recruit students,” MAD alleges in a letter sent to the school’s administration.

(Brief side note to student “activists”: Just because you use big words in an angry letter - it doesn’t make you sound smart.)

Campus Reform reported the letter also alleged the Jefferson statue, which has been standing still for a gazillion years not raping anybody, somehow "validates rape [and] sexual violence" and poses the same threat to “black and brown bodies” that the KKK does.

MAD goes on to accuse the administration of failing to uphold “its promise to protect Black and Brown bodies,” arguing that while Jefferson “may represent freedom for the white elites of his time,” the statue “[embodies] the same threat that the KKK poses” for non-white students.

May I suggest this school not add diversity classes as MAD demands. Rather, Columbia may want to look into ramping up their science courses to better help students understand that large, inanimate hunks of metal are, in fact, immobile and mute, and therefore cannot racially or sexually oppress them.

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