The 5 Dumbest Tweets of the Week

danjoseph | September 4, 2015
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We've got a long weekend coming up. Monday is Labor Day! It's the day when we celebrate unions and all of the wonderful things they've done for our nation. The good things, of course.  Not the other stuff, like bankrupting Detroit.

This week's sampling of dumb Tweets is an eclectic mix of racism, hypocrisy and anti-gun hysteria. It's the liberal equivalent of a pu-pu platter at a Chinese restaurant--only with extra Pu.

 

1. 

Okay. I know what you're all thinking. 'Who the Hell is Wendy Walsh?'

Well, she's clearly not a comedian. 

No. Walsh is a reporter and a "relationship expert." Frankly I'd like to start a relationship between my foot and her posterior.

Question: Is it racist for a white woman to imply that a black man doesn't belong in the Republican Party because of his skin color? 

Answer: Duh! 

If Ben Carson isn't elected president, I expect he'll go back to being a brain surgeon. And I have an awesome suggestion as to who his first patient should be. 

 

2.

...and his second patient. 

A lot of people ask me why Sally Kohn doesn't appear more frequently on this list.  Usually, it's because Cher Tweeted something much dumber and Kohn gets bumped off.  But this week, Cher was surprisingly quiet so Kohn made the list with this idiotic analogy.  

A Kentucky County Clerk named Kim Davis created a firestorm by refusing to issue marriage permits to gay couples, claiming that it went against her religious beliefs.  

In response, Kohn shared a hypothetical in an attempt to show how hypocritical Davis' defenders are. 

Personally, I am unaware of any religion that prohibits gun ownership.  Nor do I know of any religions that have rules against owning BB guns like the one pictured above Kohn's Tweet.

Of course, using Kohn's logic, a government employee could create a religion, come up with all sorts of crazy rules and then refuse to enforce any laws that went against their deeply-held beliefs.

So, if I worked at the DMV and my religious beliefs forbid me from giving a drivers license to anyone with an IQ under 70, Sally Kohn would have to take the bus to work. 

 

3.
 

Wait.  I seem to remember that the entire "Black Lives Matter" movement was based on the idea that Michael Brown was unjustly shot due to racism by a white police officer, despite the fact that there was no evidence that the shooting was in any way motivated by Brown's skin color. 

Intellectual consistency is hard, huh Donna?  

 

On the next page we'll learn that global warming, racism and guns are pretty much responsible for everything that's wrong with society.

4.

Since George W. Bush has been out of office for seven years, the left has resorted to blaming absolutely anything bad that happens in the world on three things: 

1. Global Warming

2. Racism

3. Guns

Not necessarily in that order. 

The logic behind the theory that climate change was partially responsible for the Syrian refugee crisis goes something like this:

  1. Syria experienced a drought.
  2. Syrians in rural areas started flooding into urban areas,
  3. Something else happened,
  4. The Syrian government and rebel forces started killing each other and ISIS took over a big chunk of the country.

Obviously, the bloodshed was due to an inability for Syrians to come to an agreement over whether solar panels should be put on the presidential palace. 

We all know that liberals will stop at nothing to link horrific tragedies to bad weather. If they can work racism into the mix, that's gravy.

For example. Liberals were quick to blame Hurricane Katrina on global warming. Then, they blamed the fact that the majority of people who were adversely affected by the global warming-caused disaster were black on the idea that Americans didn't care about black people. They added George W. Bush into the equation and, Voila! The ultimate liberal talking point. It was literally a perfect storm of instances that could be utilized to advance the liberal narrative.  

But, with the situation in Syria, part of the equation is missing.  It's that pesky middle part where the left has to connect the drought with crazy Muslims killing each other.

 

Of course, blaming climate change allows the left to avoid blaming radical Islam for the chaos, which is strictly forbidden in liberal circles.  

So in conclusion, if we can solve global warming, Muslims will stop killing each other for religious reasons.

I encourage Al Gore to travel to Syria and let ISIS know that burning people alive is sending massive amounts of dangerous emissions into the atmosphere.

 

 

5.

 

Mike Malloy is a liberal talk show host who also happens to be certifiably insane.  

But, this particular Tweet raises a lot of questions. Is Malloy saying that people who were born before a certain date and are now in their 30s were always racist? Or, is he saying that, once you turn 30, you immediately become a racist? 

If you're a 29 year-old who turns thirty at midnight, do you suddenly realize that you hate black people, like some kind of bigoted Gremlin emerging from its pod?

I guess it's kind of like a woman's "biological clock." At a certain age, a woman begins to feel an increased urge to bear children. Apparently, Americans have a similar clock and when it starts ticking we are no longer capable of judging people based on the content of their character.  So, 30 must have been a really big year for Margaret Sanger.

Anyway, be sure to be extra nice to minorities while you're in your twenties. Because, once you hit the big Three-O, it's time to whip out the Klan robes and start being intolerant. 

 

DISHONORABLE MENTION

I actually missed just how disgusting this Tweet was until it was pointed to me by blogger Ben Howe.

In the wake of the murders of two Roanoke reporters, Hillary was "heartbroken and angry." 

'We must enact legislation restricting guns!  Oh....and also I hope the families of the people who were viciously murdered were okay.'

Hillary has her priorities.  

You have to wonder whether she would have mentioned the families at all if the part about the guns took up all 140 characters.

Liberals are amazing.  Turning murder victims into political props has become a reflex - like breathing or hitting the delete button on an email account.

But, I actually agree with Hillary here.  We absolutely should act to stop gun violence. I propose we make it illegal. Who's with me? 

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