Scientific American Mag: Jedi Are Toxic Males Using ‘Phallic’ Swords To Solve Disputes

Gabriel Hays | September 27, 2021
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The left wants to destroy Star Wars. Of course if that wasn’t clear from the stupid woke-leaning Disney sequel trilogy, from the fact that they changed Boba Fett’s ship’s name “Slave 1” to avoid racial offense or from the fact that they fired an actress from the TV series for her conservative views, take a glance at Scientific American.

A recent (parody?) think piece from the science magazine insists that the Jedi would be a great group of guys to model social justice initiatives off if they weren't a bunch of elitist white savior types who represent toxic masculinity in the way they resolve conflict by waving their “phallic” lightsabers around.

No, we are not making this up. Penile-reminiscent laser swords are one in a litany of reasons that Scientific American doesn’t think Jedi should be considered to be role models in our new woke era. 

The science magazine broached the subject because apparently some STEMM programs (you know, science, technology engineering, mathematics and medicine) have been using the acronym JEDI for various social justice initiatives as of late. 

But as the super serious science mag insisted, this acronym for social justice doesn’t work because it’s too much of a reminder of a group of sci-fi space monks that are key protectors of the Star Wars galaxy’s white patriarchal society. “Through its connections to Star Wars, the name JEDI can inadvertently associate our justice work with stories and stereotypes that are a galaxy far, far away from the values of justice, equity, diversity and inclusion,” the piece declared. Oh this should be good.

Scientific American listed many reasons wokesters can’t coincidentally use references to Jedi, one being that jedi “are prone to (white) saviorism and toxically masculine approaches to conflict resolution (violent duels with phallic lightsabers, gaslighting by means of ‘Jedi mind tricks, etc.)” Violence and gaslighting? If that’s the Jedi, then what’s the problem? They'd be right at home at a BLM rally.

RELATED: A Trip Through Hyper(Sensitive)Space: Disney Renames Boba Fett’s Ship To Something Woke

“The Jedi are also an exclusionary cult, membership to which is partly predicated on the possession of heightened psychic and physical abilities,” it added, which is frustrating to our authors because this biological superiority is “ableist.” “Force-wielding talents are narratively explained in Star Wars not merely in spiritual terms but also in ableist and eugenic ones.” Yeah, special ed kids can’t be Jedi! That’s not woke!

And not only Jedi, for Scientific American, any reference to Star Wars in woke training is bad because the Star Wars universe is filled with “injustices.” Just think about the sexist and racist, Slave Leia scene. The piece described it as “infamous for stripping down and chaining up the movie series’ first leading woman as part of an Orientalist subplot.” 

And then there’s the fact that “Star Wars arguably conflates ‘alienness’ with ‘nonwhiteness,’ often seeming to rely on racist stereotypes when depicting nonhuman species.” 

OK, OK. The Jar Jar Binks being Jamaican thing might be a little on the nose, but in our defense, we Star Wars fans have been offended by the Jar Jar performance since 1999. Cut us some slack!