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Pennsylvania School District Mocked For Arming Their Students With...Rocks

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Because arming teachers with guns might be considered too “dangerous,” one Pennsylvania school is taking precautions against school shooters by reportedly arming its students with…rocks.

Rocks.

According to this, David Helsel, the superintendent of the Blue Mountain School District in Pennsylvania’s rural Schuylkill County, told the state House Education committee earlier this month that his district has placed 5-gallon buckets full of rocks in every classroom that kids can hurl at their gun-toting attacker.

“We have some people who have some pretty good arms. They can chuck a rock pretty fast," he said in his testimony, adding that the rocks are "nice, they're smooth, and you can really hurtle them pretty quickly, and hard."

You know what’s quicker and harder than rocks?

Bullets.

Look, I’m all for a good David and Goliath story, but the idea that asking 9-year-olds to pelt their would-be killer with rocks – assuming they can get to their supply bucket in the first place – from behind the shelter of their plastic and faux wood desks is asinine, at best.

And while rocks might be better than pencils and paper airplanes, wouldn’t it just be more efficient to hire armed security, install a few security checkpoints and, oh I don’t know, arm teachers?

Apparently, the idea was so ridiculous that Helsel wound up re-thinking his plan, saying Sunday that his school would be hiring armed guards instead of placing all their faith in the ability of pre-teens to channel their inner Clayton Kershaw.

(Cover Photo: Nicholas B.)

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