New York Democrats Accuse Republicans of Withholding Toilet Paper

danjoseph | April 11, 2016
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Democrats in the New York Senate are complaining that the Republicans, who hold the majority in the chamber, are not providing their district offices with enough toilet paper.

Senate Democratic leadership claims that Republicans only provide the district offices with six roles of toilet paper a month and that the toilet paper that is provided is cheap and low quality.

Republican leadership disputes this claim. 

Scott Reif, a spokesman for New York's Senate Majority Leader John Flanagan (R), who is in charge of office expenses and staff budgets for both parties, says the Democrats are full of...well…you know. 

Reif claims that offices get six rolls at a time, but that they can order three times a week if that’s necessary.

The spokesperson also insists that Republican offices receive the same quality of state-allocated toilet paper and that there is no concerted effort by Republicans to cause Democrats any bathroom discomfort. 

That explanation isn’t going over well with some New York Democrats.

Democratic field rep, Michael Olmeda, claims that he gets just three rolls a month and that the quality of Tork Universal's single-ply paper was so poor, he's been forced to bring his own rolls in.

“This is the c**p they send us,' Olmeda told The New York Post. “Try it out, it will probably cut you.”

I’ll pass, thanks. 

Staten Island Democratic Assemblyman Matthew Titone expressed concerns about the potential for unexpected bathroom emergencies.

“What if someone has ­irritable bowel syndrome or some other condition and how do you control your constituents that come in?” he wondered.

See? New York Democrats are just looking out for their constituents! 

In the wake of this partisan squabble, some Democrats have resorted to bringing their own toilet paper to work with them.

Democrats should stop their whining. They are using free toilet paper, provided courtesy of New York taxpayers. Additionally, the paper in question is made with100 percent recycled fibers. You would think New York liberals would be willing to accept this small inconvenience in order to protect our fragile ecosystem.