In a “BREAKING” news announcement Friday, Koch Industries confirmed “Clinton” has been received money from the chemical conglomerate despised by Progressive activists.
The news release reads, “In a tweet Friday morning, Koch Industries, Inc. confirmed that Clinton is indeed receiving funds that link directly back to the CEO of the second largest privately held company in the U.S. – Charles Koch.”
“To those who know me best, this doesn’t come as a surprise at all,” Clinton went on record saying.
The news release claims Clinton “recently flew to China – on Koch’s tab.”
“I’ve been solving problems to make things run smoothly across the country – and around the world – for years,” Clinton said. “I actually go to Koch’s headquarters in Wichita a lot. When I’m there, I eat in the café every day. I just love the stir fry.”
The news release provides details about Clinton’s life that are not consistent with Democratic presidential Hillary Clinton.
“Apart from her appetite for Asian cuisine, another little known fact about Clinton is that she was once the mayor of Wesley Chapel, North Carolina, a town currently home to 7,462 residents,” it reads.
“Even in a small town, politics is a tough job,” Clinton said. “It’s hard to maintain integrity and ethics when you’re surrounded by others who don’t hold the same values you do. But who I am matches Koch’s principles – they just mesh with my personal values.”
The end of the release confirms the statement was an April Fools’ Day joke.
“Tracey Clinton is an employee of INVISTA, a Koch company. And you’ve been April Fooled.”
Hillary Clinton has been trying to tie her Democratic presidential opponent Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders to the Koch brothers.