Italians Cover Nude Statues for Iranian President

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I’m just wanting to see if I’m missing anything here. Because, surely, there’s been a misunderstanding.

In anticipation of Iranian President Hassan Rouhani’s visit to Rome this week, Italian officials, overcome with a desperate need to satisfy the theocratic ruler’s delicate religious sensibilities, have placed plywood boxes over the nude marble artwork displayed at the city’s famous Capitoline Museum.

From the Washington Post:

As part of his visit to Rome, Rouhani toured the famed Capitoline Museum with Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi on Monday. The building is home to numerous prized works of antiquity, some of which appear to show human figures in the nude.

Given the sensibilities of the theocratic Iranian regime, Italian authorities decided to conceal some of the more perhaps offending artworks during Rouhani's visit. Plywood boxes and panels were placed around the objects to obscure them from the Iranian president's vision, or at least in photo-ops.

In accordance with protocols governing visits by Muslim dignitaries, alcohol was not served at a dinner hosted in Rouhani's honor. As my colleague Anthony Faiola noted last year, the Iranians apparently did not receive similar dispensation during an earlier visit to France, whose government balked at the notion of hosting an official dinner without wine.

Geez. Get with the program, France.

That’s right. Apparently, the Muslim leader would be so offended by alcohol and 500-year-old granite genitalia that the Italian government had to hand Michelangelo’s David a couple of fig leaves and hide all the Pinot Noir.

It’s nice that world leaders can come together and respect one another’s cultures in such a sensitive manner. After all, Iran would only do the same for –

Oh, wait. That’s right.

When the Iranian military captured 10 Navy sailors in the Persian Gulf earlier this month, one female sailor in the group was forced to wear a headscarf while the group was being held in captivity. Nevermind that she wasn't Muslim, or that she may have felt disrespected, or that she was, I don't know, a U.S. NAVY SAILOR.

Exihibit A:

But the rest of the world should absolutely rush to make sure nothing offends the nation that oppresses its women and throws people in prison for not adhering to Sharia Law.

You’ll excuse us for not being concerned if, while touring some of the most priceless artifacts in the civilized world that may or may not contain a marble nipple or two, Rouhani had to hide his blushing eyes.

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