I Wrote That a Bird Pooped On Joe Biden, and I Humbly Beg Your Forgiveness

Brittany M. Hughes | April 18, 2022
Text Audio
00:00 00:00
Font Size

Last week, I penned a piece of then-unknown weight, an article of such insurmountable value to the social dialogue, only to find that I myself had perhaps contributed to the deluge of “fake news” that daily affects our national news network and may, in fact, undermine our very democracy itself.

I refer, with deep regret, to a piece in which I alleged that a bird had pooped on Joe Biden.

I must first apologize to my readers. When writing the original article, I clearly underestimated this story’s grave significance to our public discourse and for that oversight, I do beg your forgiveness.

On April 13, I, via MRCTV's Facebook page, reported this: "Yes, a Bird Just Crapped On Biden During a Speech."

The viral video attached to the blog, which had already been shared by innumerable Twitter users, appeared to show Biden’s jacket getting splattered with an unknown substance during a speech held in a grain distillery in Iowa.

After social media had had a nice laugh over the president seemingly getting crapped on by a bird, others – largely White House employees and pro-Biden “journalists” – came out in droves to insist that this rumor was untrue. According to Politifact, while attendees acknowledged that "while there were birds in what the president called the 'giant barn,'" the aforementioned splatter was not, in fact, bird poop, but rather was bits of dried corn that had been flying around the silo during Biden’s speech (for which Politifact cited a Des Moines Register photographer as its unquestionable source).

Of course, the pro-poop crowd wasn’t readily convinced – and yet, we have been instructed to believe, without doubt, a handful of event attendees from liberal media outlets, including Bloomberg and NBC, and the truth-tellers in the White House communications department. Clearly, we are in the wrong.

For the sharing of such a serious falsehood, Facebook has rightly restricted MRCTV’s 3.3-million-follower page for the next three months for daring to suggest that the president had, in fact, been dumped on by a pigeon, the article having now been branded with a “false information” label to protect the public from such damaging myths. (For clarity, the semi-suspension follows a series of Facebook-flagged MRCTV posts, including one image pointing out America's energy independence prior to the Biden administration, and a video of President Biden wandering aimlessly around the White House.)

Facebook, of course, is only acting in the interest of protecting the public from freedom-threatening propaganda.

It should be noted that in addition to my mea culpa, I would make amends by reporting the facts, given that accusing a bird of using the president’s suit coat as his own personal loo is obviously a claim of such magnitude that it deserves its own fact-check, with errors punishable by a three-month Facebook suspension. However, I must also note that, in keeping with the leftwing media’s own standards of corroboration, MRCTV has been unable to independently verify the claim that it was corn – and not bird excrement – on Biden’s jacket, nor have we reviewed the results of any third-party lab testing of the substance in question, and we therefore cannot report the corn allegation as fact.

For I’m now aware of the gravity of this story, and I won’t take any chances.

After all, it is clear in retrospect that this story far outweighs other national news that Facebook, with the great wisdom of its overlords, has chosen to either selectively allow or suppress – for the sake of our democracy.

The Great Defecation Deception, or “PoopGate,” as it will no doubt be recorded in the history books, undoubtedly outstrips in significance the COVID misinformation that was – and is still – allowed to run rampant on social media, including inflated COVID death tolls, the efficacy of face masks, and the impact of government-mandated lockdowns.

It is now obvious that the tale of a bird having possibly shat upon an oblivious septuagenarian president clearly outpaces in its importance hoaxes like the debunked Steele dossier and the numerous claims of Russian collusion published (and sometimes quietly retracted) by left-wing “news” outlets and posted widely to Facebook during the embattled Trump administration.

And, to my eternal shame, it is now clear that this fowl tale is of infinitely more consequence than the Hunter Biden laptop scandal, which implicated the president’s crack-smoking, child-abandoning deadbeat son – along with Biden himself – in likely illegal business dealings in China, evidence that has now been validated and publicly confirmed by the New York Times itself, but which was stifled as “fake news” by social media outlets including Facebook during the 2020 presidential campaign (and which, according to an MRC poll, single-handedly impacted the results of the election.)

This was my blunder, for which I take full responsibility.

mrc merch