How the Celebrity Exodus Will Impact Our Lives

Craig Bannister | November 10, 2016
DONATE
Font Size

How, exactly, will our lives be affected if these celebrities make good on their threats to leave the U.S. now that Donald Trump has won?

Never again will Michael Moore come up to you in the supermarket and ask which aisle has the Little Debbie snacks and Hostess Ho Hos. Cher will stop inviting you over to watch the MTV music awards – but, at least you don’t have to worry about looking out your window and seeing Miley Cyrus twerking in your front yard.

Celebrities warned us they’d leave the country if we didn’t elect Hillary Clinton president. But, it’s not like they were ever physically present in our daily lives. They only interacted with the Great Unwashed Masses via electronic media (Twitter, Facebook, television, movies). It’s not like they ever came to our door with a basket of muffins when they wanted to tell us what to think and believe, and how to behave.

And, even then, they didn’t say, “Be like us, and fly around the world in your fuel-guzzling, carbon-belching private plane and waste all the water you want with giant front-yard fountains.”

No, they told us to stop enjoying food, bicycle to work, and cut back on the very conveniences the Entertainment Elite gorge themselves on without remorse.

So, will it really matter if Lena Dunham, Barbara Streisand and Neve Campbell move to Canada, as promised? Instead of trying to turn the U.S. into Canada, doesn’t it make sense for socialist celebrities who can afford it to just move there? “I can afford to go,” Whoopi Goldberg even bragged on an episode of “The View.”

And, will anyone actually miss Miley Cyrus or Chelsea Handler when they head off to parts unknown? After all, you can still keep in touch with them on Skype.

And, some celebrities have, unwittingly, said a Trump win will do some good:

George Lopez has said that a Trump presidency will solve the nation’s illegal immigration crisis because “We’ll all go back” to South America.

Amy Schumer warned that, if Trump wins, “I will have to learn to speak Spanish.” But, isn’t learning a second language a good thing, especially if you believe in wide-open borders?

Samuel L. Jackson has promised to move to South Africa, which could certainly use his contribution to the country’s tax base.

And, even space exploration appears to benefit from a Trump win, since Jon Stewart and Cher have declared that they will leave the planet. Cher plans to take the Mother Ship back to Jupiter…but, Stewart is keeping his extra-terrestrial option open.

But, don’t despair: they can still broadcast their performances via satellite.

Thank you for supporting MRCTV! As a tax-deductible, charitable organization, we rely on the support of our readers to keep us running! Keep MRCTV going with your gift here!

donate