I’m sorry.
No, like…I’m really, really sorry.
I’m sorry to be writing this. I’m sorry to be filling your head with this ridiculous hot garbage that is about as useful as a 1997 floppy disk. If this story were food, it would be Twinkies – made of nothing remotely significant and completely useless to your life.
But it’s just. So. Funny.
Apparently, one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s overpriced vagina-scented candles exploded and almost burnt a woman’s house down. And yes, you read that sentence correctly.
According to this, the U.K. woman said the “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle, which sells for about $75 on Paltrow’s website “Goop,” “exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere” in her living room.
The woman said she’d won the candle in a quiz – but why on God’s green Earth she lit the thing is anyone’s guess. In any case, she said she managed to chuck the exploding candle out her front door before it caught anything else on fire, saying she’s lucky the thing didn’t burn her whole house down.
“I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room,” she said.
“It could have burned the place down,” the woman went on. “It was scary at the time, but funny looking back that Gwyneth’s vagina candle exploded in my living room.”
As far as we know, “Goop,” a lifestyle website Paltrow began, hasn’t ever been sued over an exploding candle. The site has, however, been sued for making false claims as to the health benefits of their vaginal eggs and some essential oils the site claimed could help fight depression.