Gown-Wearing 'Cinderella' Actor Billy Porter Says 'The Kids Are Ready' For His Cross-Dressing Fairy Godmother

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God help us all. Preferably by Divine deliverance, but a nice meteor would do in a pinch.

Because at a certain point, the levels of idiocy we’ve devolved to just aren’t manageable anymore, at least not without average people retaining anything close to some semblance of sanity – which is what the “woke” world appears to have lost. Case in point: Sony Pictures, which is releasing another remake of the classic tale “Cinderella” (at some point, get an original idea, guys).

And this time, the iconic “Fairy Godmother” will be depicted a "genderless" (but clearly male) cross-dresser, portrayed by ball gown-wearing actor Billy Porter - compete with facial hair and a glittery A-line ensemble.

Instead of being called the soon-to-be-princess’ “Fairy Godmother,” the character will be reimagined as “The Fab G,” and will largely feature Porter strutting around in a spangly dress. Writer-director Kay Cannon, whose film is headed for Amazon Prime in September, says she wanted to “modernize” the classic story – and, apparently, make everyone want to pour bleach in their eyes in the process.

For his part, Porter called his taking the role “profound,” saying that “magic has no gender” and that “we are presenting this character as genderless.”

“It’s really powerful. This is classic fairytale for a new generation,” he said, adding, “The kids are ready. It’s the grown-ups who are slowing stuff down.”

Um, no one in their right mind is ready for a bearded dude in a sparkly frock waving around a magic wand and prancing about in Jimmy Choo boots, Billy.

 

 

 

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