The website “Everyday Feminism” has published a guide for individuals who are not sure if they’re not sure about their gender identity.
“Help! I Think I Might Be Non-Binary, But How Can I Know?” provides seven steps for people who are questioning whether they are non-binary.
Individuals who are non-binary do not think they are simply “male” or “female.” Non-binary people can believe they’re partly male, partly female, varying percentages of male or female with one predominant gender, genderfluid, or neither male nor female.
Instead of viewing gender as something people are inherently born with (an “assigned gender”), the article describes gender as a fluid discovery process that is continuously changing:
“Gender can be playful, interesting, and even fun. It’s fluid, and sometimes it changes, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it.”
At the same time, the article provides suggestions for individuals who may be grappling with their gender.
One suggestion in the guide is for people to “grocery shop” for their particular gender or genders by browsing through a list of different gender terminology and finding the word or words that resonate the best.
Another recommendation is experimenting with different gender pronouns and different gender expressions:
“Is there another set of pronouns you might want to try out? A different way of expressing your gender? Another hairstyle, a different clothing style, a name or label that might make you feel more comfortable?”
The guide also instructs people to ask themselves questions on the topic of gender:
“Am I comfortable being perceived as a man or a woman?
Would I be more comfortable if I were perceived as androgynous, not assigned a gender at all, or allowed to move fluidly between genders?
Do I feel confined by my assigned gender? Do I feel limited by it, or anxious about it?
Do I ever fantasize about worlds or cultures in which there are more than two genders recognized, or no gender at all?
Do I ever experience anxiety or discomfort when I am gendered by others?
Does it feel like my assigned gender doesn’t quite fit with who I really am?”
The article assures, “There is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions, and you don’t need to answer ‘yes’ to every single one to be valid as a non-binary person.”
After providing steps for individuals to figure out whether they are non-binary, the article asserts, “At the end of the day, there isn’t a single guide that can tell you if you’re non-binary – only you can declare what your gender identity is and isn’t.”
The article concludes, “Non-binary or not, remember that exploring gender is always a worthwhile process. When we question gender, we learn a lot about ourselves, and we cultivate even more compassion for our fellow humans who are doing the same.”