As reported by MRCTV blogger Ashley Rae Goldenberg, a federal judge has taken the side of the "PC Police" who are trying to make the Washington Redskins football team to change their name:
In a 70-page decision, Judge Gerald Bruce Lee ruled the United States Patent and Trademark Office is ordered to cancel the Redskins' trademark. A trademark would protect the Redskins against individuals who wish to copy the brand
This ruling does not mean the team has to change its name, but it does mean that, if the ruling stands after appeals, anyone can use the Redskins trademarks without paying royalties or threat of legal action from the team. Redskins owner Dan Snyder has promised he would never change the team's name, however, if the team does lose its trademarks, he probably will reconsider.
Being good citizens of the Washington D.C metropolitan area, the home base of the Redskins, we at the Media Research Center have put our heads together to help our city's NFL team to find a new nom de plume (okay, maybe we didn't put our heads together and this is just a product of one sick mind). Either way, below is a list of brand-spanking new names, offered at no cost for the beleaguered Redskins:
- An Animal Name: Many Pro-football teams have animal names: the Dolphins, Jaguars, Cougars, and of course the Super Bowl XLVIII winner the Seahawks. How about honoring President Obama with an animal associated with him, "The Lame Ducks?"
- "Thank God We're Not The NY Jets:" Okay it is a little long but as a long-time suffering fan of the green and white I'm sure that is a chant that heard in every NFL stadium.
- The Yidwithlids:" Yes, it does refer to my twitter nickname Yidwithlid and "yid" is a pejorative term for Jews. But, since I strongly believe the call for the Redskins to change their name is nothing but politically-correct bunk, I am willing to prove it by taking the hit with their new name and the Jewish owner of the Redskins should agree.
- During the past six and a half years, when cases have come up where the Department of Justice has been suspected of wrong doing, such as the New Black Panthers case, or Fast and Furious, the DOJ charged itself with investigating itself and surprisingly never found any evidence of scandal. So to honor our totally scandal-free DOJ, the team could change its name to Conservative 510 (C)(3) Busters.
- Since Washington DC is the center of American Politics, perhaps the team could take on a name related to politicians like "The Hacks," or "The Establishment."
- This idea was inspired by Justice Scalia's dissent in the recent Supreme Court Obamacare decision, he said the name of the program should be ScotusCare. What if the logo was a picture of the nine Justices of the Supreme Court and the name change to the "Obamacare Granny Killers?"
- Tampa Bay has the Buccaneers, Oakland has the Raiders, so maybe Washington could have "The Stealers." No that won't work because its too close to the Pittsburgh team. But how about other terms for taking money, something like, "The Taxers" or even "The Redistributors"
- Baseball's Nationals took the name because D.C. is the capital of our our great nation. But Nationals seems a bit soft for a football team. At first I thought of "The Constitutions" but then realized it wouldn't work because very few in DC know what the Constitution is--as an alternate something tougher such as "Criminally Trespassing Aliens?" That name would show the country the team was trying to avoid a new PC problem by using "illegal aliens" and it certainly sounds tough.
- The team could use a number, after all the 49ers have a long history of winning football. Why not call the team the "Washington $18 Trillions" after our national debt? There is one problem with this name, the way our government likes to spend it would have to be changed every year.
- The mainstream media is big industry in Washington, almost every big news operation has a bureau in the nations capital. The Redskins new name can honor the mainstream media with something like "The Progressive Politician Worshippers"
- Of course another option could be "Read MRC.ORG Every Day." Heck, the ideas are being posted on MRCTV blog which is part of the MRC, we came up with the names, why shouldn't we get some additional traffic out of the effort?
There is one more option. There are teams with the name of an occupation associated with the city...like the Dallas Cowboys. Using that method the football team could be called "Politicians and Judges Who Waste Time on Idiot PC Issues While The Country Has Real Problems To Fix."