Energy Secretary Granholm Reassures: Fascist Feds Will Only Ban SOME People's Gas Stoves

P. Gardner Goldsmith | March 24, 2023
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The contrast between how government thugs and how freedom-realists view the meanings of many words can be striking – and educational. Government agents tend to use soft words as cyphers for aggressive actions -- akin to how a shark might claim to be smiling as he approaches you, but you know he’s bearing his teeth in preparation for a deadly bite.

And few government “officials” epitomize this contrast between rhetoric and reality better than the smiling “U.S. Energy Secretary” Jennifer Granholm.

Fresh off her propaganda tour at Austin’s formerly cool music and film fest – now an uncool political woke-fest – South by Southwest, Granholm on Thursday magnanimously paid a visit to a congressional 2024 budget hearing. And, rather than explain why U.S. taxpayers were forced to pay for her to push political messages at what used to be an entertainment festival, she burned more reprobate taxpayer cash to “clarify” the Administration “position” on eeevil natural gas-burning stoves.

Of course, the only things she “clarified” were the facts that she, like many bureaucrats, politicians, and their media pals, will not stop using soft terms to mask government aggression, that she will continue to wear a plastic façade of conviviality while she speaks, and that the authority-assuming bureaucrats and politicians will continue to cook up edicts to run your life.

As Chris Pandolfo reports for Fox Business:

“At a budget hearing for fiscal year 2024, Rep. Dan Newhouse, R-Wash., asked the secretary to address constituent concerns that ‘literally 96% of tested residential gas stove tops’ would not be in compliance with the proposed draft rule published in February. Newhouse said that if that number was accurate, utilizing gas stoves would be ‘out of the question for most consumers’ and said switching to stoves that meet the new standards would be ‘tremendously expensive’ for Americans, both individuals and U.S. restaurants.”

Ahh, but Congressman Newhouse surely is alarmist. He, like the rest of us ignorant, alarmist Americans, doesn’t understand the very sophisticated “Energy Department” approach to this “dangerous” and “pressing” concern of… stoves.

“Granholm used the opportunity to clarify what she called ‘misinformation’ about the Energy Department's proposal. 

Noting that Congress requires her department to update energy efficiency standards for gas and electric stovetops, as well as a wide-range of household appliances, Granholm insisted that the majority of residential stoves won't be affected by the changes.”


Well, before one dives into how she and her central government “regulators” can help the blind such as Newhouse and us “see” with their warm and kind vision, it is instructive to review what often passes as accepted political language.

Notice the terms “draft rule,” “new standards,” “efficiency standards,” and “changes.” Every one of them is a soft deception – a stand-in for the real words, “draft threats,” “new, threat-backed edicts,” “politically-determined and imposed ‘efficiency’ commands,” and “imposed changes subverting your free will.” They mask the reality of thuggery and immoral government threats – just like Granholm’s laughter did in 2021 when she guffawed at a reporter who asked her why she and the Administration wouldn’t do something to let Americans acquire, refine, generate, and transport more domestic sources of energy.

And if you think she’s a thug, full of bombast and hubris, you should just listen to the laugher and accept her rhetoric.

Related: Energy Secretary Granholm Couldn't Say How Many Barrels of Oil the US Consumes in a Day | MRCTV

See, we worrywarts don’t understand that the Department of Energy’s estimate that 96% of “tested” gas stoves that wouldn’t meet their impending “standards” is based on a subset of the gas stove market – a subset composed of stoves that the DOE pre-selected, aware that they likely would not meet the DOE’s arbitrary “energy efficiency” standards.

“She told lawmakers that when the Department of Energy (DOE) tested gas stoves for compliance with a new regulation, ‘in this case they picked the gas stoves that were most likely to be affected.’"

So, don’t worry. The thugs likely won’t pick on you…

“The 96% figure Newhouse mentioned refers to tested gas cooking tops that were expected to fail to meet the proposed standards, not the full-range of available cooking tops, Granholm said. 

‘So the full range of gas stoves absolutely is not affected,’ Granholm said. ‘In fact, half of the gas stoves on the market right now wouldn't even be impacted.’ 

Those that would be affected are ‘high-end’ gas stoves that have ‘heavy grates’ and oval-shaped burners which cause ‘an excess amount of natural gas to be emitted relative to the pot that's on there,’ she explained. The cost to bring these stove tops into compliance with the new regulations would be about $12 per appliance, she said.”



So, there you go.

Don’t bring up the practical matters that “energy” efficiency is just one factor that buyers consider when entering the market, or that her line of “thinking” could see the feds “regulating” the kinds of pots and pans we use, or even where we place them on the stove. Heck, don’t mention that they could claim “energy efficiency” is at its best when we don’t cook food at all, but, instead, open cans of beans or pet food to eat ‘em cold, like Mad Max in the dystopian world of “Road Warrior.”

Don’t worry, because their breach of ethics in human relations, their assumption that they can tell others how to handle what satisfies our needs and wants – those acts of political aggression are “limited” to certain “kinds” of gas stoves.

And they claim it’s for “our” good – based on their faulty, insubstantial, indefensible fantasy library of “climate” and “living environment” claims.

“DOE argued that stove appliances achieving its proposed standards are already commercially available and that the benefits to consumers and the climate exceed the potential burdens. Regulators estimated that the new standard would raise the upfront cost of stove products by $32.5 million per year, but save $100.8 million annually in operating costs, while generating $67 million in climate benefits and $64.9 million in health benefits.”

None of their doom-and-gloom climate claims is defensible. No American has won a tort suit for “climate damages” dealt to him or his property by someone or a huge number of people using natural gas stoves, and no one has won a tort suit for “damages” that he or she suffered living or working in an environment where gas stoves were used.

And even if they had, the U.S. Constitution that Ms. Granholm swears to uphold not only doesn’t allow these kinds of DOE “regulations” and “standards” to be imposed in this or any other fascist fashion, it doesn’t even sanction her Department of Energy.

One wonders if she knows that, and laughs at how she can fool so many people…

We should not be fooled. When the shark smiles, we should beware.

Related: Energy Sec. Granholm Calls It ‘Hilarious’ That She Would Have a ‘Plan to Increase Oil Production in America’ | MRCTV