'Irrevocably Shaken' Columbia Law Students Demand School Cancel Exams

Brittany M. Hughes | May 3, 2024

If you ever find yourself in need of a lawyer, might I suggest you don’t go with one that graduated from Columbia University. They’re likely to break down crying in the middle of the courtroom from the pressure.

Fresh off another round of battling the antiSemitic toddlers who’ve taken over campus and demanded cartloads of vegan food and the annihilation of Israel as a nation, the school has now received a letter from the student editors of the Columbia Law Review, the official journal of Columbia Law School, asking the university to cancel final exams because the “violence” from police clearing out protesters’ illegal squatters’ camp has left law students “irrevocably shaken.”

“The violence we witnessed last night has irrevocably shaken many of us on the Review. We know this to be the same for a majority of our classmates,” the students said in a letter to the school. “

“Videos have circulated of police clad in riot gear mocking and brutalizing our students. The events of last night left us, and many of our peers, unable to focus and highly emotional during this tumultuous time. This only follows the growing distress that many of us have felt for months as the humanitarian crisis abroad continues to unfold, and as the blatant antisemitism, islamophobia, and racism on campus have escalated,” they go on.

Related: WATCH: Ole Miss Students Drown Out Protesters With the Star-Spangled Banner

"The current exam policy raises concerns around equity and academic integrity. Many are unwell at this time and cannot study or concentrate while their peers are being hauled to jail,” the statement continued, adding that “We do not think it is inconsistent with being a leading voice in legal academia and legal scholarship to prioritize students’ health and safety.”

Students also complained there’s been some miscommunication about when exactly their exams are to take place, which apparently an email to their professor wouldn’t solve.

Precious little lambs.

Let us know when your self-inflicted feelings boo-boo is all better and you can take your test. Until then, here’s a Snuggie and some kombucha tea. You rest up now.

Mommy and Daddy and. the rest of the American taxpayers are here to make it all better.

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