The 5 Dumbest Tweets of the Week

danjoseph | July 31, 2015
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This week, the liberal media taught us that a dead lion is a far more important story than Planned Parenthood repeatedly being caught selling baby parts. This really shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone. But, clearly, the story had an impact. Otherwise, Planned Parenthood wouldn't be in full damage control mode trying to save their image as America's leading provider of "womens' health."  

Now, Congress will debate defunding Planned Parenthood, which should be fine with the organization since they would easily be able to make up the government funding that they lose by selling the very thing that they produce.  

But, the Tweets came in fast and furious from both lion lovers and Planned Parenthood supporters alike and the dumb was particularly strong with the Tweets that followed. In fact, this week's first Tweet may, in fact, be one of the dumbest in the history of this list.

 

1.

What liberal media bias?

Seriously though, this is terrible.  First Mitt Romney kills that guys wife by closing a steel plant and NOW THIS!!!!?? Someone stop Mitt before he kills again!! 

This is truly journalism at its finest. If you're a member of the Pulitzer Committee and you are reading this, you can contact the article's author at @kevcirilli and find out where to send his prize. 

 

2.

Texas Governor, Wendy.....wait....she lost?  She lost by how much? 20-points??!!! Wow!  Well, she's still around apparently and is now a powerful surrogate for Planned Parenthood.

I guess the validity of Wendy's Tweet all depends on what you consider to be a "baby body part."  

By Davis' reasoning, if I'm building a car (say a Lamborghini) and then someone steals the car's engine and sells it, that engine is no longer a car "part."  It is simply a clump of cells that once had the potential to someday be a part of a car. 

 

3.

So, this is a message for all of the people who have recently unfollowed Lena and, therefore, can no longer see this Tweet.  Makes perfect sense. You sure showed them didn't you, Lena!

Cher has some words for the GOP Presidential candidates on the next page. 

4.

This election cycle is really going to suck for Cher.  With 17 GOP candidates, she's apparently going to spend a lot of time hovering over the toilet puking. No fun!  But, I really like the idea of seeing a debate featuring Cro-Magnon cavemen.

Candidate 1: Me Ogg! Me no like Export/Import Bank. Take Rock.  Smash.

Candidate 2: Me disagree! Export Import important investment for companies that do business overseas. (Smashes candidate one's head with rock.)

(Chris Christie says nothing, continues eating giant mammoth leg.)

Last week, Time Magazine released  a "Donald Trump Insult Generator," on its website. It allows you to insert your name and get your own personalized insult from a fake Donald Trump Twitter Account.

Ouch! He really burned me there.

I would love to have a similar generator that comes up with Cher Tweets.  Hyperbolic, anti-conservative Tweets, done in all caps, incomplete sentences and emojis. If anyone can come up with such a thing, I'll buy them dinner.

 

5.

I think the "feminist sphere" is already pretty confusing to most people.  Although, I'm with Azealia on the hairy armpit thing.  Seriously, that's got to stop. "Free the nipple"?  I'm not exactly sure what that is, and I can't check at the moment because I'm guessing it's not safe for work.  I'll look into it later.

 

DISHONORABLE MENTION

YES! This is the guy we need to explain to us how to save Greece from impending economic doom, due to socialist policies.  A self-described "Socialist."  

There's 'gotta be a way they can pin this on George W. Bush.  Maybe, they'll use the same strategy that the left used in defending those Planned Parenthood videos:

"The Greek crisis was 'selectively edited' by conservatives to make it look as though there was a run on the banks. In reality, European-style socialism is working great over there!" 

I bet that Bernie dreams of being president of some European nation instead of this one. I, for one, would be totally for that as long as long as it gets him out of the U.S.

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