There were so many idiotic Tweets this week that narrowing it down to five was an incredible challenge. But MRCTV knows that you need your dumb Tweet fix. So, our leader, Brent Bozell, locked us in the office until we came to a consensus on which five Tweets we would be sharing with you this week. (It was cool, though. He ordered us pizza.) The negotiations were challenging, but we were inspired by the awesome deal the United States carved out with the Iranian Mullahs, and concluded that if John Kerry can do it, so can we! So here we go!
1.
Bradley Manning has a lot of issues. He aided US enemies by leaking classified documents about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan to Wiki Leaks. He is going to be spending the next 35 years in prison and he thinks he's a chick. But all these issues pale in comparison to the fact that he's having a hard time "Tweeting from prison." Come on, people! Do we really need any more evidence that America needs comprehensive prison reform?
I found this a bit surprising. I'd imagine that "Chelsea" is a pretty popular guy in prison. I'm sure one of his fellow inmates would be more than happy to help him with his dictation issues.
But, um....question. How is it that a prisoner who has been found guilty of leaking sensitive government information that put American soldiers at risk, is allowed to HAVE A TWITTER ACCOUNT???!!!!
Why stop there? Give the guy a Match.com account too! I hear Bowe Bergdhal is available.
2.
Yes. We've finally pinpointed the true source of climate change. It's this kid. Somebody lock him up before he kills us all!
Also, I'm pretty sure that eating that many Doritos is not on Michelle Obama's list of acceptable lunch choices.
He's pretty much the Obama administration's worst nightmare. MRC has contacted him and requested a resume.
3.
Obama was scheduled to have a conversation with Jamaica's Prime Minister while he was in the country but, for some reason, it never happened.
4.
FINALLY! But what I'm really looking forward to is the app that allows you to force celebrities to punch themselves in the face.
5.
Seriously guys. Stop playing rapper Chuck D like he's stupid. It's totally unnecessary. He needs no assistance in exposing himself as a complete moron. Radiation "looms powerfully" alright. Clearly Chuck D has been exposed to a lot of it.
The idea that Ronald Reagan intentionally flooded black neighborhoods with crack cocaine in order to kill black people or land them in prison is a conspiracy theory that some liberals still cling to. Another popular one is that Reagan was anti-gay and thought that AIDS patients deserved to die because of their behavior.
As you can see, some liberals will cling to any theory, no matter how utterly insane, if it will allow them to maintain their belief that Ronald Reagan was a terrible president. They can't back the assertion up with economic data or the results of Reagan's foreign policy, so they dig deep into their bag of crazy and accuse him of being some kind of racist, genocidal maniac.
The good news is that most Americans know better than to believe these types of celebrity brain farts. And I have feeling that Reagan himself would laugh this type of thing off and encourage all of us to do the same. Or he might mock them like they deserve to be mocked.
But it's sometimes difficult to laugh when you realize that it's been almost 25 years since the United States was lucky enough to have such an epic leader.
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Don't Hurry Back, Rosie!