The Media Research Center had its big annual gala, last night. It was a huge event featuring some of the top conservative minds in the country. I was up pretty late, so please forgive me if some of my words are slurred in this week's piece. Although, I think the hangover from reading these dumb Tweets may be slightly worse.
1.
I challenge the very premise of this Tweet. How exactly does PETA know that those dolphins "don't want to be surfboards?" I would imagine that being a Sea World dolphin is a pretty good gig. All the fish you can eat. Not having to worry about being devoured by sharks or being caught in a tuna net - and you receive the adulation of crowds from all over the world.
PETA is making assumptions that it can't back up. They are also unfairly quoting dolphins when Dolphins can't actually speak. I can do that, too:
See.
I love animals and I know that there are a lot of people who don't think that they should be in captivity. But, unless you're Doctor Doolittle, you shouldn't put words in their mouths to advance your agenda.
But, you never know. Dolphins are pretty smart. If they get angry enough, we may wake up one morning to this:
2.
Motley Crue front man Nikki Sixx, surprisingly, doesn't have the solution when it comes to stopping American gun violence. I always assumed he was going to be the one to fix the problem. But, he knows that he wants "better emoji control." I think he's right. It IS time to have a "healthy conversation" about emojis in this country. They seem to be replacing the English language for some people. These same people seem to think that stricter gun laws will stop mass shootings. That should tell you something right there. Maybe Cher can help us out.
3.
THAT'S IT!!! S "NEW version of the NRA." I assume that, in that case, "NRA" would stand for "No Rifles Allowed."
What I find the most interesting about this Tweet is that Cher seems very excited that the "old Hillary" has returned. Is that the Hillary who went from being a shoe-in for the Democratic nomination to being someone who lost to a political neophyte? Or, maybe, she's just pointing out that Hillary is old.
On the next page, pizza enthusiast Michael Moore, explains how misogynistic the movie industry is.
4.
Here, Moore was trying to explain how the lack of female directors in Hollywood is the equivalent of the forcible separation of people based on their race. It's pretty insulting to those who experienced actual Apartheid in South Africa as recently as the early 90s. Classy.
Moore himself is a Hollywood director whose liberal documentaries have made him worth over $50 million dollars. Perhaps, he should allow a woman to direct his next leftist opus.
But, here's a thought. Maybe women aren't as attracted to the profession of film direction as men are. Moore pointed out that only 1.9 percent of last year’s top-grossing 100 films were directed by women. But, women make up roughly 15% of Hollywood directors. So, maybe, it's not Hollywood's fault at all. Perhaps it's our fault for not going to see enough films directed by women.
Let' take Moore's statements to their logical conclusion. If women represent a minority of Hollywood directors, but their films are still underperforming at the box office, it's because either:
- The films they're making aren't very popular, or
- That the public discovers that a woman directed a film they wanted to go see - and then decides not to go, based soley on the fact that a female directed it.
But, it's never the logical solution with liberals. It's always the worst case scenario.
Hollywood is all about the bottom line. If a talented woman can make an awesome film, what incentive would producers have not to hire her? The answer, of course, is sexism. This is bad for those who have been pushing political correctness on us for the last 40 years. Because, if even Hollywood can't get progressivism right, then no one can.
5.
I was really surprised to learn just how much power the Prime Minister of Canada has when it comes to the future of the planet. All this time, we've viewed Canada as a fairly harmless neighbor. One that has little influence on world affairs and is content with its status as the world's chief exporter of hockey players and maple syrup.
But, this Harper guy is apparently so dangerous that his actions could lead to the destruction of Earth itself. Is he building a Death Star or something? Is Stephen Harper the next Hitler? Is he about send an army of storm troopers riding zambonis across the border in an effort to annex North Dakota? If that's the case, perhaps Donald Trump is proposing to build his giant wall on the wrong border. Well, at least we can stop worrying about ISIS now and focus on the real threat. Hosers.
DISHONORABLE MENTION
Well, that's all for Kasich. Once this picture gets out, it will be clear to all Americans that his judgment is so poor that he couldn't possibly lead our nation back to greatness.