The 5 Dumbest Tweets of the Week

danjoseph | October 2, 2015
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Sometimes, I feel as though things are hopeless, that our nation has been hijacked by total morons and that there's absolutely no way to save it.

Then, I go on Twitter and I'm positive that this is the case.

Then I cry.

 

 

 

1.

"Pink Elephant" is a term used to describe a drunk hallucination. I'm guessing that America's most famous domestic abuser was seeing a few of them when he Tweeted out this gem. I'm sure he meant well, but he phrased it in a way that suggests that Brown will be traveling "Down Under" and beating up women until everyone understands just how bad the scourge of domestic violence has become.

 That's the wrong strategy.

What you do is send Rihanna to Australia and let her tell them about YOU! Far more effective, Chris. 

Chris Brown is a great singer. But, his greatest hits collection will always be a pictorial


2.

Harry Reid lecturing us about the need for compromise is almost as ironic as Chris Brown becoming the international spokesperson for raising awareness about domestic violence. But, the more important question here is whether Reid and Brown have been dating. 

 

3.

Kumail Najiani is a Pakistani-American stand-up comedian. You probably figured that out already since this Tweet proves that he's hilarious.

Seriously though, this Tweet is so instructive. Liberals don't simply think that those of us who question the apocalyptic warnings concerning global warming are wrong. They think we're evil. 

The good news for all of us climate change skeptics is that the day that one of the global warming alarmists' predictions actually materializes, Hell will haven frozen over. So, we're all in the clear. 

On the next page, comedian, Margaret Cho explains why God loves abortion. 

4.

Ummmmmm. Okay. I don't remember that being mentioned in the scriptures. It must have been edited out along with the part where God created global warming.  

Just because God gave us the choice to "decide" doesn't necessarily mean that our decisions are correct. That's sort of part of the deal behind mankind having free will. Under Cho's theory, God also created domestic abuse. So, Chris Brown has the choice to "decide" whether or not he wants to kick his girlfriend's ass. 

Okay, I'm sorry. I feel like I'm beating this Chris Brown thing to death this week.  

Oops.  I did it again.  

 

5. 

STUPID SUN!  

So sick of that thing. Hanging in the sky all the time like it's essential for the survival on life on Earth or something. The Sun is a narcissist that clearly needs to be taken down a peg. It's the Kanye West of celestial beings. 

For the good of the planet, we need to get rid of it. Next, the EPA will reveal that the Sun is responsible for global warming. 

In light of this news the Obama Administration has formulated a plan that was initially floated by The Simpsons and will be putting it into place over the next year. 

via GIPHY

 

DISHONORABLE MENTION

Congrats, Mara. You've just revealed the strategy for convincing lawmakers to shut down Planned Parenthood forever.

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