The FCC voted Thursday 3-2 to scrap 2015 Obama-era regulations establishing so-called "Net Neutrality," which is basically a vague term used to describe government overregulation of the internet.
And apparently, the vote means we're all going to be sucked into a terrible vortex in which our memories are wiped, our ability to communicate is eradicated and our entire world explodes in a mushroom cloud of Y2K-reminiscent horror. Or something.
Here are a few of the most insane reactions to the Net Neutrality vote.
GLAAD, who apparently thinks pre-2015 internet was killing the gays.
The repeal of #NetNeutrality is an attack on the LGBTQ community— GLAAD (@glaad) December 14, 2017
This Illinois Attorney General candidate who thinks Trump broke the internet.
THIS is why state attorney generals are so important. After #TrumpBrokeTheInternet by destroying #NetNeutrality, we can use the legal system to challenge and block him. https://t.co/cwGY9lU7rr— Renato Mariotti (@renato_mariotti) December 14, 2017
Bernie Sanders, who thinks three-year-old Net Neutrality rules were the lynchpin of our 250-year-old democracy.
This is an egregious attack on our democracy. The end of #NetNeutrality protections means that the internet will be for sale to the highest bidder. When our democratic institutions are already in peril, we must do everything we can to stop this decision from taking effect. https://t.co/8GGrJFMdrU— Bernie Sanders (@SenSanders) December 14, 2017
This person who’s posing on the internet about supposedly losing the internet.
I’m actually crying #NetNeutrality— xoxoxo (@halseysaur) December 14, 2017
Planned Parenthood, who’s worried people might not have access to their online death pamphlets.
The @FCC just voted to repeal #NetNeutrality rules — that required internet providers to treat all web traffic equally. This could make it more costly to access content or even block websites or information entirely.— Planned Parenthood (@PPact) December 14, 2017
This person who apparently never met anyone before Facebook.
Me @ all the people I met through the internet #NetNeutrality pic.twitter.com/k9mUvGy84s— sahil(-: (@officialsahilg_) December 14, 2017
This person who says those who don’t support government takeovers of the internet are soulless monsters.
Wow ... just wow. These humans who voted against #netneutrality have no soul https://t.co/7bSsBd1d9s— aj rafael (@ajRAFAEL) December 14, 2017
This woman who thinks people didn’t know things before Google.
This issue is bigger than Netflix, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. This is, at the core, an issue regarding censorship and the halt of information. #NetNeutrality— MissShadowLovely 🖤 (@MsShadowLovely) December 14, 2017
This guy who says that anti-Net Neutrality FCC Chairman Ajit Pai is pretty much on par with a dictator who murdered 11 million innocent people.
When @AjitPaiFCC sees Adolf Hitler #NetNeutrality pic.twitter.com/fRnvwWLqCw— VD 🐬 (@VDPhins) December 14, 2017
This socialite/ex-porn star who thinks Pai should be poisoned with bleach for disagreeing with her on internet policy.
Every bartender in DC gonna have a secret menu for when @AjitPaiFCC walks in from now on #NetNeutrality pic.twitter.com/yJncqNIX21— Mia K. (@miakhalifa) December 14, 2017
There you have it, folks -- the virtual sky is most certainly falling. I’d have included more tweets here, but the folks from Yahoo! just arrived to smash in all my fingers with a hammer.