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The Schein: A Gov't Carol Sing Along! 'The 12 Ways of Spending'


<p>In the spirit of all the Christmas specials that are hitting the air, it’s time to sing a little number about the “12 Ways of Spending” the government decides we need.</p><p>Don’t feel that people in Texas should help pay for turtle friendly lighting in Florida? Well, the federal government says it’s necessary - and there’s a lot of similar programs.<br /><br />Rather than type them all out, we put 12 of them to a festive melody. Below is the final section of lyrics with links to the actual programs and money spent. Watch the video above to hear the song in its, uh...full musical glory. (CAUTION: We are not professional singers)<br /><br />"The 12 Ways of Spending"<br /><br />In my twelfth look at spending the government did for me<br /><br />To study <a href="… drumming</a><br /><br /><a href=";DIS=… pipers</a> piping<br /><br />Lots of <a href="…; planning<br /><br />Interactive<a href="…; video dancing<br /></a><br />A look at <a href="… milking</a><br /><br /><a href="…; a swimming<br /><br /><a href="… toenail </a>sampling<br /><br />Fixing a <a href="… gate ferry<br /></a><br /><a href="… elf-owl</a> birds<br /><br /><a href="… hens</a> nesting<br /><br /><a href="… friendly</a> lighting<br /><br />Internet in<a href="…; Partridge, Kentucky</a><br /><br /><br /></p>