In case of a nuclear attack, the United States government recommends sheltering in a bunker – while also maintaining at least six feet of separation from others.
This is not a joke...but our government might be.
On its official government website, "Ready," a public advisory initiative to help people prepare for disasters, advises anyone trying to keep from being vaporized by a nuclear bomb to take cover in the nearest basement, preferably in a brick or concrete building. But while you’re hunkered down worried about whether high levels of radiation are about to melt off your face like that Nazi in Indiana Jones, make sure you’re wearing a mask and staying a safe distance away from anyone you don’t live with, lest you contract COVID.
“Go to the basement or middle of the building,” the government recommends. “Stay away from the outer walls and roof. Try to maintain a distance of at least six feet between yourself and people who are not part of your household. If possible, wear a mask if you’re sheltering with people who are not a part of your household. Children under two years old, people who have trouble breathing, and those who are unable to remove masks on their own should not wear them.”
“Stay inside for 24 hours unless local authorities provide other instructions. Continue to practice social distancing by wearing a mask and by keeping a distance of at least six feet between yourself and people who not part of your household,” the agency continues.
The government also recommends that you prepare a plan in advance in case of a nuclear blast, including making sure you know where you’ll shelter (after all, many buildings may be closed due to COVID, they remind) and having a survival kit handy – complete with sani wipes.
“If you are able to, set aside items like soap, hand sanitizer that contains at least 60 percent alcohol, disinfecting wipes, and general household cleaning supplies that you can use to disinfect surfaces you touch regularly,” the guidelines state.
“If you are told by authorities to evacuate to a public shelter, try to bring items that can help protect yourself and your family from COVID-19, such as hand sanitizer that contains at least 60 percent alcohol, cleaning materials, and two masks per person.”
Or, maybe, if you do happen to narrowly escape being blown to smithereens by a nuke, just concentrate on not disintegrating into a mass of bloody goo - and don’t worry so much about a flu bug with a 99.9% survival rate.