In early May, a professor at Santa Monica College arranged an event called “EcoSexual Sextravaganza” for students to marry the ocean.
There was a ceremony and everything. With rings. Students were even encouraged to consummate the marriage with the ocean. “Go pound sand” totally has a new definition now.
Campus Reform reported, in detail, this nonsensical event.
Bruce Cartier, a former Santa Monica student, began the event by stating, “Today, we stand upon this holy Earth and in this sacred space to witness the rite of matrimony between the sea and us all.”
A philosophy professor at the college, Amber Katherine, told Campus Reform the purpose of the “sextravaganza” was to have individuals develop a more passionate and intimate love for the Earth.
She also revealed the event was financially sponsored by various campus organizations.
Do these college groups have nothing better to do? Like raise money to fight world hunger or something?
Anyway, it gets better. An attendee who identified herself as “Serenity” (who I will call “Pocahontas” because she claims she can talk to trees) informed the group about the importance of the sea consenting a physical relationship.
According to Campus Reform, Pocahontas told the Corsair that she would receive a spiritual response from a tree and would know whether or not it was okay to hug it.
She said, “Consent is definitely important. Do you think the Earth would consent to fracking and pollution? Probably not.”
I don’t know about you, but I’m picturing the students having to make wooshing noises in different pitches, similar to what Dory had to do in "Finding Nemo" to speak to the whale, to properly communicate with the ocean.
There’s even a video of the event available on YouTube. You’re welcome: